Tuesday, 20 December 2011

The Doom Generation

Jordan - This is so nice, lying here like two spoons stacked in a drawer... I hope we die simultaneously, like in a fiery car wreck or nuclear bomb-blast or something.

Amy - You are so romantic...

Jordan - No, for reals. I don't ever wanna have to miss you.

Amy - Ditto.

The Doom Generation (Gregg Araki, 1995)

Monday, 19 December 2011

My Words

My words escape me,
as I escape them,
To define me, as not refined,
Mimed release expressions,
Of continuous thoughts
Pouring out like red wine
From a dark green bottle on a crème carpet,
Or white sand.

My words escape me,
as I escape them,
For love is beauty,
and beauty is love,
As diabolical dreams
of intestines on a platter,
As kidneys, lungs and livers,
rushing the blood, my blood, winded, noisey.

My words escape me,
as I escape the world.
- My Words by Serj Tankian, from "Cool Gardens" (2001)

Why bother?

Sooner or later all of this will be ancient history like every other relationship I've had with anyone who meant something to me at some point...
So, why do I even bother when I know in advance it's not worth it?
Parece que nunca aprendo, leñe... Menos sensiblerías y más sentido común. Sea lo que sea eso.

Sunday, 18 December 2011

Domingo por la tarde

Jesse James Dean Martin Lawrence Olivier Martínez.

Wednesday, 14 December 2011

The distant future: the year 2000

Murray - When you're in a band, you don't get with your bandmate's girlfriend - past or present.
Jemaine - Yes, well thanks for that.
Murray - You get a love triangle - you know? Fleetwood Mac situation... Well, there there was four of them, so more of a love square. But you know, no one gets on.
Jemaine - Okay, I see.
Murray - Mind you, they did make some of their best music back then.
Bret - Rumours
Murray - No, that's all true.
- Flight of the Conchords, S1E1 "Sally"

Tuesday, 13 December 2011

A Ballad of Reading Gaol

Yet each man kills the thing he loves,
By each let this be heard,
Some do it with a bitter look,
Some with a flattering word,
The coward does it with a kiss,
The brave man with a sword!

Some kill their love when they are young,
And some when they are old;
Some strangle with the hands of Lust,
Some with the hands of Gold:
The kindest use a knife, because
The dead so soon grow cold.

Some love too little, some too long,
Some sell, and others buy;
Some do the deed with many tears,
And some without a sigh:
For each man kills the thing he loves,
Yet each man does not die.
-  C. 3. 3. (Oscar Wilde)

Saturday, 10 December 2011


"…And just like that, after a long wait, a day like any else,
I decided to triumph… I decided to look for the opportunities, not to wait.
I decided to see every problem as the opportunity to find a solution
I decided to see every desert as the opportunity to find an oasis
I decided to see every night as a mystery to solve
I decided to see every day as a new opportunity to be happy.

That day I found that my only rival was my own weaknesses,
And in them, is the only way and better way of surpassed us.

That day I lost the fear of loosing and I started to fear of no winning,
I discovered that I was not the best and maybe never was.
I stop caring about who was the winner or the loser.
Now I care just knowing more than yesterday.
I learned that the hard thing is never stop climbing to the top, not to reach it.
I learned that the better triumph that I can have, is to have the right of calling someone “my friend”
I discovered that the love is more than a feeling of being in love, “the love is a philosophy of life”
That day I stopped being a reflect of my few triumphs of the past and I started to be my own tenuous light of this present;
I learned that it do not matter if you are a being light if you are not going to illuminate the others road.

That day I decided to change so many things…
That day I learned that the dreams only are to make come true
Since that day I don’t sleep to rest
Now, I dream just for dreams."

- (attributed to) Walt Disney

Thursday, 8 December 2011

The cold shoulder

Far from being a "perfect day" like those back in the old times...


Today I'm not in the mood, I can't help it. This afternoon I came back to my flat, which is empty and not only because my flatmates are out. I've begun to remember and taking stock of these last few weeks...

I remember when a couple of years ago, a friend of mine complained about how many times she'd been brokenhearted by her (at the most) one-month stands. She wondered why she hadn't found a guy who was worth it so they could have a serious relationship, she said she was tired of suffering like that... I told her I was kind of jealous of her, because precisely, she had never had a boyfriend to whom she had completely devoted herself, the kind of guy you cautiously introduce to your family after a long time dating because you're absolutely certain that it could last forever, you can't conceive your life going on without him...

But in the end, all those years or months, all those moments you believed to be so special and meaningful turn out false. Everything suddenly changes, hopes go down the drain, and on top of that, it always seems like the other person puts together his life faster and easier than you do. You wonder how he could forget you that quickly, what was the real meaning of all those things he told you and wrote with a blue Pilot pen, all blurry because of the tears.

I preferred those emotionless, meaningless one-night stands better than having this emotional baggage that's been piling up, failed relationship after failed relationship. I find it hard to be moved by anything without thinking a millisecond later that everything can end way before it is started, unexpectedly, I'm afraid of losing what I have now and deep down I know it's goint to happen sooner or later because, sadly, now I know feelings change and there's nothing we can do to avoid it.

This is not like Dracula's screenwriters made us believe. Six years and three failed relationships later, I've come to accept at last that it was all a beautiful lie.

"You'll learn to know,
you grow like tornado from the inside
Destroy everything through,
destroy from the inside..."

Tuesday, 6 December 2011

Tea time, once again

Y voy a dejarme ya de tontás, que tengo que estudiar ;)

Sunday, 4 December 2011

Bienvenidos al Club de los Invisibles

Crab if you want her,
she won't be coming down...

Saturday, 26 November 2011


"You may think you're pretty high and mighty, Trumbo. But let me tell you this... If I live long enough, and I will, I'm going to pull you down off that fancy horse of yours and shove your face in the muck!"
- Lily Bishop, California (John Farrow, 1947)

Thursday, 24 November 2011

"Once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always"

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
- "The Velveteen Rabbit", by Margery Williams,


All the songs talk about us,
all the films talk about us.
All the comic books, all the stories,
and the patterns drawn by the stars.

"We love each other very much".

Wednesday, 23 November 2011


Now there's two of us :)

Thursday, 17 November 2011

Midnight in... ¿Sanju?

Man Ray - Exactamente correcto, Usted habita en dos mundos... Por ahora no veo nada extraño.
Gil Pender - Bueno, ustedes son surrealistas, ¡¡pero yo soy un tío normal!!
Man Ray - Un hombre enamorado de una mujer de una era distinta... Veo una fotografía.
Luis Buñuel - Veo una película.
Gil Pender - Veo un problema insuperable.
Salvador Dalí - Yo veo... Un rinoceronte.

- Midnight in Paris (Woody Allen, 2011)

Saturday, 5 November 2011


Es imposible querer o amar a un sitio o ciudad.
Se quiere o ama a las personas que conocemos en ese lugar, y creamos una falsa ilusión de que el sitio en cuestión es especial, pero no es así. Asociamos una cosa con la otra, cogemos cariño a un emplazamiento porque recordamos lo que hemos vivido ahí, pero nunca se volverán a repetir.
Porque no puedes esperar que, al darle un abrazo a la catedral de Santa Maria del Fiore, ésta te lo devuelva. Es físicamente imposible.
He dicho.

Thursday, 6 October 2011

Reflexión rápida

Antes o después, todos se acabarán yendo de esta ciudad, y de este país venido a menos.

Me pregunto qué será de mí por esas fechas...

Friday, 23 September 2011


"That. That's what I want, the way Barney feels about Nora, I want that feeling again! I don't wanna be choosing between two girls, I wanna be a complete head over heels idiot for one!"

- Ted Mosby, HIMYM S7E2 "The Naked Truth"


"A ship in harbor is safe, but that's not what ships are for".

- (attributed to) William Shedd

90's Mixtape

Today's the autumnal equinox in the Northern Hemisphere, so I guess it's official now: farewell, summer...


I remember when a guy I admired a lot when I was little gave me a mixtape he had recorded from his CD's and cassettes. I listened to it for months, even longer. It featured "Black or White" by Michael Jackson, "The Summer Is Magic" by Playahitty, and many other hit songs from the 90's.

Now I look back and realize that it's a pity how he and his sister finally ended up. But the thing is, you have to keep the good memories from your past, that's what's all about. I'll always remember him like that skinny, pimpled-faced older brother of a good friend of mine who introduced me to John Lennon, good music in general and record collecting for the first time...

Wonder if they ever think of me the same way I do about them.

Thursday, 22 September 2011

Big Fish

"They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops. And that's true. What they don't tell you, is that once time starts again, it moves extra fast to catch up!"


"You don't know me, but my name is Edward Bloom and I am in love with you. I've spent the last three years working to find out who you are. I've been shot and stabbed and trampled a few times, had my ribs broken twice, but it's all worth it to see you here, now, and to finally get to talk to you. Because I am destined to marry you. I knew that from the first moment I saw you at the circus. And I know it now more than ever."

"There's a time when a man needs to fight, and a time when he needs to accept that his destiny is lost, the ship has sailed, and that only a fool would continue... Truth is, I've always been a fool."


Big Fish (Tim Burton, 2003)

Uneven day - Jopetas

Y bueno, después de un día bastante dispar, hago balance y pienso en las consecuencias.

Ahora mismo me da un poco de miedo lo que pueda pasar, y esa sensación de miedo es más fuerte que la alegría de esta mañana/tarde, y que la impotencia de esta tarde/noche.

Pienso y pienso, y le doy demasiadas vueltas a todo... Pero la única palabra que se me ocurre para poder expresar todo lo que siento ahora mismo es "jopetas". Sin más. Jopetas, qué mal que no sean otras circunstancias. Jopetas la distancia que habitualmente no me parece demasiado pero que ahora se me antoja como un abismo entre universos paralelos. Jopetas mi arcaica, naïve o excesivamente-romántica-para-los-tiempos-que-corren forma de ver todo en general... Jopetas.

Sé que es pedir demasiado, pero si no lo fuera me tragaría todos mis miedos y te lo pediría de la mejor forma que se me ocurriera.

Sé que sólo es un nombre, y como decía Shakespeare: "What's in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet"... Pero me daría algo de seguridad, ese punto de estabilidad que me hace sentir más confiada.

No es nada personal, pero no sabría cómo explicártelo. Porque ha sido a base de palos cómo me he convertido en una persona tan desconfiada... Es tut mir sooo Leid.

Jopetas, siento ser tan peñazo, siento ser tan rara, lo siento todo... Pero sobre todo siento lo que te voy a vermissen, porque de hecho ya me está pasando.



Wednesday, 21 September 2011


"Alright, wait a minute: No drinking, no drugs, no kissing. No tattoos, no piercings, *no* ritual animal slaughters of any kind. Oh, God... I'm giving them ideas!"

- Walter Stratford, 10 Things I hate About You (Gil Junger, 1999)

Tuesday, 20 September 2011

Miloš Forman

- You're crazy!
- Yeah I'm crazy, we're all crazy! Let's shake on it!
- Let's not...

- Hair, (Miloš Forman 1979)


Ich mag dich, ich mag dich so sehr... Ich fühle mich so glücklich, dass ich dich gefunden habe.
Danke für alles.

"'cause you like me too much and I like you
I really do, and it's nice when you believe me..."

Monday, 19 September 2011


"De qué sexo sean en realidad me da igual, es lo que menos me importa. Me puede gustar un hombre tanto como una mujer. El placer no está en follar. Es igual que con las drogas. A mí no me atrae un buen culo, un par de tetas o una polla así de gorda; bueno… No es que no me atraigan, claro que me atraen, ¡me encantan! Pero no me seducen. Me seducen las mentes, me seduce la inteligencia, me seduce una cara y un cuerpo cuando veo que hay una mente que los mueve que vale la pena conocer. Conocer, poseer, dominar, admirar. La mente, Hache, yo hago el amor con las mentes.
Hay que follarse a las mentes."

- Dante, "Martín (Hache)"

Sunday, 18 September 2011


"What came first, the music or the misery?
People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over.
Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss.
Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable?
Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?"

- Rob Fleming, High Fidelity (Stephen Frears, 2000)


Doubts, doubts, doubts.

This is going too fast and I'm freaking out... I'm afraid I'll be giving it a miss for a while, just to see how things work out and maybe finding out wether it's worth it or not when I value your behavior.

Why is everything so weird? I have a feeling this is rather forced. It used to be so easy back then when we were in school, but now I don't know wether to throw it all away and forget everything we've passed together (que no es mucho, todo hay que decirlo), trusting it'll go as fast as it came, nor putting all my trust in another person once again, probably to find out in a time from now that it was another huge mistake, and getting hurt is the usual modus operandi, the usual result of every emotional exchange in my life.

It's been a while since I picture myself as a small, defenseless creature who, blow after blow, is slowly withdrawing into its shell never to come back to its original state.

All the bruises and all the marks are starting to show in my face and they are reflected on everything I do, say or think. Although I'm very fond of you, Dónal, it was you who gave me the two hardest masterstrokes which scarred me for life. And I've never been able to open up as naturally or as spontaneously again.

But I guess that, as usual, it was all my fault and I deserved it... Afterall, isn't karma all about that?

Saturday, 17 September 2011

And I think I like it

¡Casi pleno en septiembre, más la asignatura anual Inglés C2 de Traducción!
¡Los grandes laboratorios se me rifan!
¡Y ayer pasé una tarde/noche de las de recordar con los amigos!
A ver cuánto tarda en torcerse la cosa...


Friday, 16 September 2011

Der Blaue Engel

"Ich bin von Kopf bis Fuß auf Liebe eingestellt"

- Lola Lola (Marlene Dietrich), Der Blaue Engel (Josef von Sternberg, 1930)

Where is my mind?

Right now I'm not that sure... There's too many questions and each person is giving me different answers. Am I hurrying? Should I act with caution? Maybe it's time for some quiet or casual times. I've never tried that, and it scares me a little. Or maybe I just need to drift and forget about all the fears and worries.

What I know for sure is that I'm fine this way, I enjoy a lot all the time spent together, and I wouldn't want to miss this chance to get to know someone who seems so unique and special.

Although, of course, everyone seems unique and special at first...

"You met me at a very strange time in my life"

Thursday, 15 September 2011

Shady lane

"You've been chosen as an extra in the movie adaptation of the sequel to your life".

Pavement - Shady Lane

Wednesday, 14 September 2011

Il Portiere di notte

"Cuando todo parecía perdido, sucede algo inesperado...
Un fantasma de la memoria toma forma.
¿Cómo librarse de él?
Su voz y su cuerpo... Forman parte de mí mismo".

- Max T. Aldorfer,  Il Portiere di notte (Liliana Cavani, 1974)

Leben, liebe ich zu leben
ich kann euch sagen ich liebe zu gefallen
wenn auch nicht immer liebe ich zu lieben
ich weiß nicht was ich will und doch erwarte viel

Wenn ich mir was wünschen dürfte
käme ich in verlegenheit
was ich mir den wünschen sollte
einer schlimme oder gute Zeit

Wenn ich mir was wünschen dürfte
möcht ich etwas glücklich sein
denn wenn ich gar zu glücklich wäre
hätte ich heimweh nach dem traurigsein...

We're chained

"Uh" said the man to the lady
"Uh" said the lady to the man she adored...

Tuesday, 13 September 2011


If I was scared, I would
And if I was pure, you know I would
And if I was yours...
But I'm not

Now I'm ready to start... (or maybe not)

La vie en rose...

"Have you ever heard of this place?"
"Nope, never... What was its name again?"

Menuda nochecita de fin de exámenes xD

Monday, 12 September 2011

Sunday, 11 September 2011

Off again

Coffins? Frozen dead babies? xD I'm looking forward to finding out whether these rumours are true or not! I'll be back tomorrow by lunch time.

Saturday, 10 September 2011

Allgegenwärtig Lloyd

Two days to go...

Friday, 9 September 2011

Einem gemeinsamen Freitag

Argh. Se me están olvidando las declinaciones en alemán... :__(

¡A empollar se ha dicho!

Just a perfect day (afterall)

'cause you made me forget myself, I thought I was someone else, someone good...
And I'm glad I spent it with you.

Thursday, 8 September 2011

Zweite Prüfung fertig

Obwohl es war eine schreckliche Morgen... Wir gehen zur Messe!!


Wednesday, 7 September 2011

Off to nowhere... Once more

Brb, I'm ready for the farewells, gossiping, junk food binges and waking up so early the streets aren't even paled...

Tuesday, 6 September 2011

Monday, 5 September 2011

Sunday, 4 September 2011

A Hard Day's Night

It's been a hard day's night, I should be sleeping like a log
But when I get home to you I find the things that you do
Will make me feel alright...

Saturday, 3 September 2011


"You are a strange species. Not like any other. And you'd be surprised how many there are. Intelligent but savage. Shall I tell you what I find beautiful about you?
[Shermin nods]
You are at your very best when things are worst."

- Starman (John Carpenter, 1984)

Friday, 2 September 2011

Thursday, 1 September 2011

Abschalten nach einem stressigen Tag

Ida a la ciudad donde estudio a las 7, descubrir que es el día de la inauguración de la nueva estación de autobuses, caminar un kilómetro más de lo previsto hacia el punto donde quedé con una compañera mientras llovía, llegar corriendo a la facultad, hacer el examen, salir y volver a la estación con otra compañera, esperar unos 40 minutos entre el caos del primer día de funcionamiento de la estación y lidiar con unos americanos maleducados y cabreados segundos antes de subir de vuelta al autobús...

Y yo sólo quiero poder pillar la cama prontico :'(

Wednesday, 31 August 2011

Vor der Prüfung

Sometimes, the best things in life are unplanned.

Tuesday, 30 August 2011

Monday, 29 August 2011

Studiere, studiere...

Aber mit neuer Haarschnitt :D

Sunday, 28 August 2011

Baby's on fire

What a day it was yesterday...
And I've come to the conclusion that this pictured right down also happens the other way around xD

Saturday, 27 August 2011


Das ist alles, ich denke an...

Friday, 26 August 2011

Let's fade together...

... let's fade forever...

So far away... Come on, I'll take you far away
Let's get away, come on let's make a getaway

Once you have loved someone this much you doubt it could fade despite how much you'd like it to
God, how you'd like it, you'd like it to fade...

Thursday, 25 August 2011

Home Alone

That's how I'd love to be...

Monday, 22 August 2011


How I love this cover art by Annie Leibovitz...

Sunday, 21 August 2011


"Feed Me Jack Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Peter Sellers", by Albert Hammond, Jr.

Saturday, 20 August 2011

Saturday nights

Sometimes, they are not that cool...

A night to remember

Surrounded by school friends...

I hope they don't tell me off tomorrow morning when they find out the time when I got home :S

Friday, 19 August 2011


Text must be read while listening to the music from the video above, and picturing the shops on the streets of New York waking up while heading for a Starbucks Coffee.

"What will NY152 say today, I wonder.
I turn on my computer.
I wait impatiently as it connects.
I go online, and my breath catches in my chest until I hear three little words:
"You've got mail."
I hear nothing. Not even a sound on the streets of New York, just the beating of my own heart...
I have mail. From you."

- Kathleen Kelly, You've got mail (Nora Ephron, 1998)

Thursday, 18 August 2011

This is my truth, tell me yours

Parce que ces choses n'arrivent que dans les films... N'est-ce pas?


"It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution."

"The world is changed because you are made of ivory and gold.
The curves of your lips rewrite history."

- Oscar Wilde
(from The Picture of Dorian Gray, ch. 8 & 20)


Wyatt - Now for the first time I know exactly what I want, and who. And that's the damnable misery of it... What makes a man like Ringo, Doc? What makes him do the things he does?

Doc - A man like Ringo got a great empty hole right through the middle of him. He can never kill enough, or steal enough, or inflict enough pain to ever fill it.

- What does he need?

- Revenge.

- For what?

- Bein' born.

- It all happened so fast with Curly Bill... I didn't really have time to think about it, but I've had plenty of time to think about this... I can't beat him, can I?

- No. Wait, I'm goin' with ya.
(He starts coughing and can't get up.)
Oh, God. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Wyatt...

- It's all right, Doc.

Tombstone (George P. Cosmatos, 1993)

Wednesday, 17 August 2011

Streets of Philadelphia

I was bruised and battered, I couldn't tell what I felt, I was unrecognizable to myself
I saw my reflection in a window, I didn't know my own face
Oh brother are you gonna leave me wastin' away
on the Streets of Philadelphia

I walked the avenue 'til my legs felt like stone,
I heard the voices of friends vanished and gone,
at night I could hear the blood in my veins, just black and whispering as the rain,
on the Streets of Philadelphia

Ain't no angel gonna greet me, it's just you and I my friend...
My clothes don't fit me no more, I walked a thousand miles just to slip this skin

The night has fallen, I'm lyin' awake, I can feel myself fading away,
So receive me brother with your faithless kiss, or will we leave each other alone like this
on the Streets of Philadelphia

Say anything...

- I got a question. If you guys know so much about women, how come you're here at like the Gas 'n' Sip on a Saturday night completely alone drinking beers with no women anywhere?

- ... By choice, man!

Say Anything, (Cameron Crowe, 1989)

Tuesday, 16 August 2011

Persecutory delusions

Also bipolar disorder and self-victimization for manipulating others or attention seeking.
Have you ever heard about Münchausen syndrome or cognitive distortion?

Just give it time and it will prove itself that you suffer from everything cited above...
And I couldn't care less, es ist genug und du verdienst nichts.

Gute Nacht, schlaf gut und träumst mit kleinen Engeln :)

First Evening (Première Soirée)

Her clothes were almost off;
Outside, a curious tree
Beat a branch at the window
To see what it could see.

Perched on my enormous easy chair,
Half nude, she clasped her hands.
Her feet trembled on the floor,
As soft as they could be.

I watched as a ray of pale light,
Trapped in the tree outside,
Danced from her mouth
To her breast, like a fly on a flower.

I kissed her delicate ankles.
She had a soft, brusque laugh
That broke into shining crystals -
A pretty little laugh.

Her feet ducked under her chemise;
"Will you please stop it!…"
But I laughed at her cries -
I knew she really liked it.

Her eye trembled beneath my lips;
They closed at my touch.
Her head went back; she cried:
"Oh, really! That's too much!

"My dear, I'm warning you…"
I stopped her protest with a kiss
And she laughed, low -
A laugh that wanted more than this…

Her clothes were almost off;
Outside, a curious tree
Beat a branch at the window
To see what it could see.

- Elle était fort déshabillée
Et de grands arbres indiscrets
Aux vitres jetaient leur feuillée
Malinement, tout près, tout près.

Assise sur ma grande chaise,
Mi-nue, elle joignait les mains.
Sur le plancher frissonnaient d'aise
Ses petits pieds si fins, si fins

- Je regardai, couleur de cire
Un petit rayon buissonnier
Papillonner dans son sourire
Et sur son sein, - mouche ou rosier

- Je baisai ses fines chevilles.
Elle eut un doux rire brutal
Qui s'égrenait en claires trilles,
Un joli rire de cristal

Les petits pieds sous la chemise
Se sauvèrent : "Veux-tu en finir!"
- La première audace permise,
Le rire feignait de punir !

- Pauvrets palpitants sous ma lèvre,
Je baisai doucement ses yeux :
- Elle jeta sa tête mièvre
En arrière : "Oh! C'est encor mieux!...

"Monsieur, j'ai deux mots à te dire..."
- Je lui jetai le reste au sein
Dans un baiser, qui la fit rire
D'un bon rire qui voulait bien.....

- Elle était fort déshabillée
Et de grands arbres indiscrets
Aux vitres jetaient leur feuillée
Malinement, tout près, tout près

- Arthur Rimbaud

Monday, 15 August 2011

Wise words

"Now the pain we all feel at this dreadful loss reminds me, reminds us that while we may come from different places and speak in different tongues, our hearts beat as one. In light of recent events the bonds of friendship we made this year will be more important than ever."

- Albus P. W. B. Dumbledore

Sunday, 14 August 2011

Cocteau Twins

And now I already miss you all...

Saturday, 13 August 2011

Today's plan

Mexican dinner.

Swimming pool.

Cool cocktails with coconut milk.


More swimming pool.

More cool cocktails.

Sleepover party.

And tomorrow, more fun at the beach :)

Friday, 12 August 2011


Friends that show up without notice at your home craving for something to do FTW.

Tijuana bibles

Post moved here.

Three Imaginary Boys

When words won't come out... Let Robert Smith speak for you.

Thursday, 11 August 2011

Today's good news

After a copious Chinese dinner, and the fact that we didn't take a bath at some friend's swimming pool nor watch a film on dvd, this is the best news I could have today before going to sleep...

"Muse to begin recording sixth album in September"
Muse will enter the studio to begin recording the follow-up to their 2009 fifth album 'The Resistance' in September.
Bass player Chris Wolstenholme said that the trio will be heading straight in to the studio after they headline Reading And Leeds Festivals at the end of August. The bassist said of the band's recording plans: "September and October, that's when we're going to get into the studio to start writing the new album."

Source: NME.com

Wednesday, 10 August 2011


Que se te ocurra una melodía chula y darte cuenta en ese preciso momento de que no tienes instalado el Guitar Pro para poder transcribirla y trabajar con ella sin hacer ruido para no despertar a toda la familia, y que además tu hermano se haya descargado todo lo descargable y ha llegado al límite del servidor de descargas para poder bajártelo...
No tiene precio ¬¬

Lebkuchen heart herz cookie Oktoberfestherzen gingerbread dummkopf german corazón alemán galleta jengibre deutsch

Tuesday, 9 August 2011

The People's Poet is dead!

"This house will become a shrine! And punks and skins and rastas will gather on and hold their hands in sorrow for their fallen leader! Then all the grown-ups will say "why are the kids crying?" And the kids will say "Haven't you heard? Rick is dead! The People's Poet is dead! Then one particularly sensitive, articulate teenager will say "All the kids, do you understand nothing? How can Rick be dead when we have his poems?" Then another kid will say..."

"This is it! It's really happening! Who needs qualifications? Who cares about Thatcher and unemployment?
We can do just exactly what we want to do! And do you know why? Because we're young ones! Bachelor boys! Crazy, mad, wild-eyed, big-bottomed anarchists!
Look out, Cliff!!!!!
Phew...! That was close!"

How I love "The Young Ones"... I find British humour (and specially Rik Mayall's acting) captivating :)

Monday, 8 August 2011


From WIkipedia:

"Dog Days" (Latin: diēs caniculārēs, Spanish: canícula) are the hottest, most sultry days of summer. In the northern hemisphere, they usually fall between early July and early September.

Sunday, 7 August 2011

Last Night on Earth

Spotting shooting stars with your friends at the woodlands, surrounded by unhealthy snacks and soft drinks, listening to Arcade Fire and lying on a concrete table, realizing that it could easily be your last night alive, because you wouldn't mind dying at that very moment... Everything was perfect, I felt so alive and so happy that if something has to go wrong, now I can handle it better knowing that there's been this special moment, which I shared with some people I'm very fond of, somewhere lost in the middle of a mountain.


Now I fully understand the meaning of that quote from "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" by Stephen Chbosky:

"and in that moment, I swear we were infinite"

Now, I'm ready to start...

Saturday, 6 August 2011


"I'm dreamin' in the mornin', I'm dreamin' all through the night
And when I'm dreamin' I know that it's all right...

I'm dreamin' in the evening, dreamin' all through the day
And when I'm dreamin' I know that it's okay..."

Friday, 5 August 2011

Sense & Senility

"I want to be remembered when I'm dead.
I want books written about me.
I want songs sung about me.
And then hundreds of years from now,
I want episodes of my life to be played out weekly at half past nine by some great heroic actor of the age".

"Fortune vomits on my eiderdown once more".

"The Bloody Murder of the Foul Prince Romero and His Enormously Bosomed Wife".

-  Edmund Blackadder
(image taken from here)


- I just don't think I see my way ahead quite as clearly as you do. Shadows.
- What?
- It's one of my stories.
We live in the shadowlands.
Sun is always shining somewhere else...
around a bend in the road...
over the brow of a hill.
- C. S. Lewis, Shadowlands (Richard Attenborough, 1993)

Mondaufgang am Meer, by Caspar David Friedrich

Thursday, 4 August 2011


That's what keeps humanity (and the world) running. Altruism is a fallacy.

Sore eyes...

Vermittler, Vermittler...

Feigling... Hinterhältig...

Es que aún no comprendo cómo puedes ser tan retorcida, tan cobarde y tan falsa. Me pone de los nervios esa falta de consideración, ese ansia de llamar la atención y ser el centro de todas las miradas.

Me molesta tanto que prefiero escribirlo en castellano para poder expresarme mejor y desahogarme un poco.

Tengo muchísimas ganas de poder dejarte atrás, y que me mires desde abajo dentro de unos años y sientas envidia, que te des cuenta de lo miserable y vacía que es tu vida y te arrepientas de no haberme mantenido, de haber sido tan despreciable conmigo y con la gente que me rodea. No vas a hacerme más daño, no pienso darte esa satisfacción, y no voy a derramar ni una sola lágrima más por algo que me hayas hecho. Me pregunto si tú alguna vez sientes algo que no sean tus propias convicciones, si alguna vez has pensado en alguien que no sea tú misma, y si alguna vez has llorado de dolor porque alguien en quien confiabas te ha traicionado, te ha dado una puñalada trapera y luego te miente a la cara quitándose culpa. Lo dudo mucho, la verdad.

Porque es así, y lo sabes. Siempre has estado vacía, y siempre lo estarás, por mucho que intentes aparentar. Toda tu vida se basa en las apariencias, en la imagen que tú quieres proyectar de ti mismo, aun sabiendo que no es la verdad. Pero a ti nunca te ha importado mucho qué es verdad y qué no, eso ya lo sabemos todos. Puede que haya pasado tiempo, pero la masa no es tonta y te conoce mejor de lo que tú crees.

Y no sólo eso, si no que además has arrastrado a otro contigo, has convertido a alguien que era inocente, buena persona y mejor amigo en una simple marioneta a tus malignas órdenes. En fin. Será cuestión de acostumbrarse de una vez.

Eso de pasar de la gente y borrar por completo a alguien que ha formado parte de mi vida de una forma intensa o continuada no se me ha dado bien nunca, pero sigo teniendo el firme propósito de conseguirlo, y que con el tiempo se convierta en una rutina más, en algo fácil y automático. Si tanta gente puede hacerlo conmigo, yo también.

Te la dedico, que sé que te gusta la buena música y se te da tan bien el inglés :)

Wednesday, 3 August 2011

Plain Jane and Average Joe

Wikipedia defines a Plain Jane as "a woman who has an average appearance. It can also mean an object that is unadorned or unembellished."

I've come to assume that, maybe if I'm lucky, all I can ever aspire is to be a Plain Jane. And I guess I'm content with it... I'll have to force myself to forget all those dreams of someday becoming a cultured, appealing woman, surrounded by people who admire her knowledge.

Never stand out, trying not to draw attention. Just resign yourself and keep going until it all ends.

Tuesday, 2 August 2011

Die Träumerin, Teil II

Und es wieder passiert...
Sie träumt mehr als das Lebens ihres Lebens. Und sie stimmt.

Monday, 1 August 2011

Die Träumerin

Träumt von Freunden, Missionen und deutschen Liedern.
Die Träumerin wird von der Baulärm geweckt, auch...
Verdammt Werk.

Sunday, 31 July 2011

Family values

It was a nice day, after all...

Saturday, 30 July 2011

Crave for attention

That's all you do. I don't...

And I just can't get why you are so obsessed with the image (or shadow) you cast. Maybe when you find yourself alone and shattered, you won't be able to reach me as always. :).

Friday, 29 July 2011

Resistance, or The Black Idol

by František Kupka

This painting used as inspiration for the castle in Coppola's "Bram Stoker's Dracula" (1992). It's cool to find out these little trivia facts about one of your favourite films. Thanks, IMDb!

When I am king, you will be first against the wall...

... with your opinion which is of no consequence at all...
(I may be paranoid, but not an android)

Thursday, 28 July 2011


Jetz bin ich die Hündin xD

Tuesday, 26 July 2011

... and that's why you must never trust the Spanish Wikipedia, kids


Just that. I'm stupid, I don't deserve anything. I don't deserve being happy, nor having friends or any kind of personal satisfaction.
And also, my neck is killing me... I'm waiting for the analgesics to work.

Monday, 25 July 2011


"You, you're just a number..."

Ich bin ein bisschen betrunken... Bier ist der Teufel ¬¬

Saturday, 23 July 2011

Eine kalte Dusche

Pavement - Shady Lane (directed by Spike Jonze)

Friday, 22 July 2011

Hart auf Sendung

- I mean, I like your music but I really just don't see why you can't be cheerful for one second.

- I'll tell you, since you asked...

I just arrived in this stupid suburb, I have no friends, no money, no car, no license... And even if I did have a license, all I could do is drive out to some stupid mall. Maybe if I'm lucky play some fucking videogames, smoke a joint and get stupid.

You see, there's nothing to do anymore. Everything decent's been done, all the the great themes have been used up, turned into theme parks, so I don't really find it exactly cheerful to be living in the middle of a totally like exhausted decade, where there's nothing to look forward and no one to look up to.
That was deep!

These lines are from the 1990 film Pump Up the Volume (Allan Moyle)... To me, nothing's changed much from back then, really.

Tokio Blues

If you killed someone...
Who would you call first for helping you carry the corpse?

Thursday, 21 July 2011

Broken smile

Lügen. Trännen. Schmerz...
Mein bester Freund hat mich nicht angerufen heute.
Mein Freund ist wie jeder andere Kerl, und ich bin nichts als ein anderer Name auf der langen Liste. Andere Hündin mit einem Blog die sich über dumme Gefühle schreibt.
Ich bin Niemand. Nichts. Eine dicke, hässliche Nichts.

Es war ein schrecklicher Tag, ich freue mich auf Morgen...
Ich hoffe, ich kann heute Nacht schlafen.

Wednesday, 20 July 2011

Mein Körper ist ein Käfig

Ich liebe den Titel des Films "Once Upon a Time in the West" auf Deutsch... "Spiel mir das Lied vom Tod" (Play to me the Song of Death), es ist so romantisch und wehmütig...
Warnung! Das Video enthält Spoilers, wenn du den Film nicht gesehen haben, es ist besser, es nicht zu beobachten.

Monday, 18 July 2011

Riff raff

I refuse to be a part of the hoi polloi. Nope, thanks.

Friday, 15 July 2011


A part of my childhood me has just died...

Tuesday, 28 June 2011


"Expect much from yourself and little from others, and you will avoid incurring resentments."
- Confucius

"A friend is someone that knows everything about you and loves you anyway."
- Kurt Cobain

"Do not trust your secret, not even to the most intimate friend, as you can not ask him for discretion if you yourself have not had it."
- Ludwig van Beethoven?

"Voici mon secret, il est très simple: on ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux."
- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for."
- (attributed to) Bob Marley

Die Freunde, die man morgens um vier Uhr anrufen kann, die zählen.“
- Marlene Dietrich

"Lo sabe todo, absolutamente todo. Figúrense lo tonto que será."
- Miguel de Unamuno

Thursday, 28 April 2011

"Adoro el cine de Alexei Kurkovski"

Andrei Tarkovski, Krzysztof Kieslovski... y todos los “osvkis” que en la historia del cine europeo han sido, prácticamente han borrado del mapa de la memoria cinéfila el nombre de Alexei Kurkovski, cineasta casi desconocido debido a las malas condiciones de distribución que tuvieron sus obras.

Nacido en Varsovia, Kurkovski pertenecería según la clasificación que Cahiers du Cinéma realizó en 1968, a los llamados cineastas de la nueva ola del este. Aquellos que comenzaron su carrera en 1953, tras la muerte del presidente Malenkov y la llegada al poder de Kruschev que supuso una tímida apertura en el campo artístico. Apertura de la que, como veremos, no se benefició nuestro cineasta.

Concretamente, Kurkovski debutó tras las cámaras en 1962 en rusia (donde se mudó su familia siendo él adolescente). Su ópera prima ya apuntaba su carácter vanguardista y transgresor. “Karenin 3) лётчик”, película de título impronunciable para un occidental, era una adaptación libre y en clave de ciencia ficción del clásico de Tolstoi, Anna Karenina. Hay que considerar que el cine de ciencia ficción había sido muy popular en la Unión Soviética durante los años 20 y 30, pero después el género pasó a ser considerado decadente.

La audacia (o irreverencia) de Kurkovski consistió en recuperar un género mal visto por las autoridades oficiales, y en convertir a la heroína del clásico literario en una cosmonauta rusa, una especie de Yuri Gagarin en versión femenina, casada con uno de los jefes del proyecto espacial que dirige la misión desde tierra. Pero la mujer empieza a sentirse cautivada por la voz masculina del ordenador de a bordo. Una fascinación que se convierte en amor cuando la máquina demuestre que posee sentimientos. En crudísimo blanco y negro (heredado de Bergman e incluso Dreyer), Kurkovski rodó el primer filme de adulterio espacial, con una única actriz, la hermosamente gélida Silvia Alexandrova, asediada por dos voces masculinas, una autoritaria (la de su marido que le habla desde la base) y otra cálida y comprensiva (la de su computador-amante). Finalmente, cuando el esposo ordene desconectar la máquina desde tierra, ella desolada, acabará suicidándose por amor, dirigiendo la nave hacia el sol.

Melodrama y vanguardismo unidos en un filme del cual, indudablemente, Kubrick sacó algunas ideas para su mítica "2001: Una odisea del espacio", y sin el que tampoco sería posible concebir el "Solaris" de Tarkovski, rodado una década después.

Desafortunadamente, la película no gustó al público ruso de la época, que la encontró demasiado lenta. Y tampoco a los censores que, aunque permitieron que se exhibiera fuera de concurso en Cannes, creyeron interpretar que había una lectura política en el filme (la cosmonauta usa el término “padrecito” para referirse a su marido, igual que los rusos hacían con Stalin) y abortaron su posible carrera internacional. El filme no se vería fuera de Rusia hasta 1989.

Con sólo 30 años, Kurkosvki ya estaba en la lista negra sin permiso oficial para rodar más filmes. Por eso, su segunda película la hizo en la más absoluta clandestinidad. Lo que le permitió filmar una auténtica bomba de relojería. Tomando como base un relato de Máximo Gorki, rodó "Carne viva", un crudo relato sobre los arrabales de Moscú. Filmada a intervalos a lo largo de cuatro años con película caducada y actores no profesionales, Kurkovski plasmó las miserias que los prebostes de la Unión Soviética trataban de acallar. La historia gira en torno a Dmitri, un contrabandista que vende carne en el mercado de estraperlo y que se enamora de Irina, una joven heroinómana. La chica se prostituye para comprarse las drogas y Dimitri se empeña en pagárselas él para que ella no tenga que estar con otros hombres. Pero la carne cada vez escasea más lo que lleva al muchacho a robar cadáveres recién enterrados en las fosas comunes y a venderla como filetes, sin revelar por supuesto su procedencia. En torno a la pareja, gira un microcosmos de personajes desesperados y marginales: un actor loco a quien las autoridades no le permiten actuar por sus ideas subversivas y que acaba suicidándose, una muchacha tísica que vomita sangre... Todo en el filme es de una crudeza escatológica que por momentos se hace difícilmente soportable.

Kurkovski logró sacar una copia de forma clandestina y la película se exhibió en cines de Estados Unidos y Europa, aunque con la clasificación "S". Pero en algunos lugares, como Inglaterra, la censura también se cebó con ella, con lo cual su malditismo se extendió más allá de las fronteras de la URSS. Corrió incluso la leyenda urbana de que los cadáveres desenterrados y despedazados en el filme eran auténticos. Pero probablemente sólo es eso, una leyenda.

De cualquier forma, el cineasta se había convertido ya en persona non grata para el régimen, por lo que eligió el camino del exilio. Primero a Ulan Bator, donde aún conservaba amigos bien relacionados con el gobierno comunista. Allí filmó una serie de nueve películas de las que solo podemos hablar de oídas, ya que se consideran irremediablemente perdidas. Entre ellas figuran títulos como "Ratas", sobre niños abandonados que sobreviven a los duros inviernos de Mongolia viviendo en las alcantarillas, o "Los Wurdalak" un filme alegórico sobre ¡funcionarios vampiros!

Evidentemente, con películas semejantes no hizo demasiados amigos en su nueva patria, lo que le empujó a exiliarse nuevamente y a vagar por varios países asiáticos hasta recalar en Tokio. Allí, ya en la década de los 80, filmó las dos únicas películas que tendrían una distribución comercial más o menos normal. La primera de ellas fue "O-hayou gozaimasu" (1983), retitulada en nuestro país como "El gángster y el yakuza". Protagonizada por el francés Lino Ventura y el japonés Tetsuo Tamba, cuenta la amistad que surge entre un mafioso marsellés y otro nipón. Es probablemente su única película esperanzada. Quizás, tal vez porque se trate de un encargo (es el único de sus filmes basado en un guión ajeno).

Su segundo filme japonés, en cambio, volvió a ser fiel a su estilo. "Horror vacui" (1985), una extraña coproducción con España, protagonizada de nuevo por Tamba y la actriz española Cristina Higueras, cuyos hermosos rasgos resultan reconocibles pese al grueso maquillaje de geisha a base de polvos de arroz que luce en la película. La cinta es un relato de terror que cuenta como un samurái se enamora de una geisha a la que encuentra una noche caminando. Hacen el amor y ella le pide que le jure fidelidad eterna. Él hombre así lo hace, pero un vecino voyeur que les espía por la ventana ve que el samurái realmente está copulando con un cadáver. Pensando que se trata de un demonio avisan a un monje taoísta que llena la casa del guerrero de amuletos que impidan la entrada al maligno ser. Pero la diablesa atrae a su amado con cánticos de amor, y éste la sigue abandonando los amuletos que le sirven de protección. A la mañana siguiente, sus vecinos le encontrarán muerto en una fosa junto a un cadáver femenino casi putrefacto. Amor fou como en "Karenin", sexo y muerte como en "Carne viva"... Como vemos son los pilares sobre los que gira el cine del director.

Pero Kurkovski ya no pudo volver a ponerse tras las cámaras. Los médicos le diagnosticaron un cáncer terminal y planeó marcharse de este mundo de forma teatral. Irse a Hong Kong como su idolatrado Nicholas Ray, y filmar allí su agonía tal y como el director norteamericano hizo en "Relámpago sobre el agua". No pudo llevar a cabo sus planes, ya que la muerte le sorprendió justo dos días antes de viajar a la excolonia británica.

Kurkovski se fue así de forma discreta, casi silenciosa. La noticia de su muerte no ocupó en los periódicos españoles más que unas pocas líneas. Pero nos queda su cine (al menos las películas que no se han perdido), ahora felizmente recuperado en un pack de DVDs. Verlos es una experiencia más que recomendable para cualquier aficionado. Una experiencia que les hará decir sin complejos “¿Kurkovski?... Un genio”.

Como decía Huston: "tal vez la realidad no fue así, pero así es como me gustaría que hubiera sido."

Sunday, 2 January 2011